Perempuan Berkisah: Menyajikan Kisah Nyata Perempuan Korban Kekerasan Berbasis Gender

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Pengalaman khas perempuan, baik secara biologis maupun sosial itu tidak dialami oleh laki-laki. Menstruasi, hamil, melahirkan, nifas, dan menyusui itu bisa diiringi rasa sakit (adza), bahkan sakit berlipat-lipat (wahnan ala wahnin) dari sononya. Apalagi jika pengalaman tersebut terjadi dalam kondisi sosial di mana perempuan sekaligus mengalami salah satu apalagi lebih dari lima pengalaman sosial khasnya, yaitu stigmatisasi, marjinalisasi, subordinasi, kekerasan, dan beban ganda hanya sebagai perempuan.

Perempuan Berkisah (PB) kukenal sebagai akun media sosial (medsos) instagram @perempuanberkisah yang intensif melakukan pendidikan publik dengan menyajikan kisah-kisah nyata para perempuan korban kekerasan berbasis gender. Tentu dengan cara yang menjunjung etika jurnalisme.

Tidak hanya dengan menyamarkan identitas pelakunya tetapi juga korbannya. Juga, dan ini paling mendasar dalam etika jurnalisme, dengan menggunakan perspektif keadilan hakiki perempuan. Ini sangat penting sekali! Sebab perempuan punya kondisi khas, yaitu lima pengalaman biologis: menstruasi, hamil, melahirkan, nifas, dan menyusui, dan lima pengalaman sosial yaitu: rentan mengalami stigmatisasi, marjinalisasi, subordinasi, kekerasan, dan beban ganda. Jika perempuan mempunyai kondisi khas seperti ini, maka apalagi perempuan korban kekerasan!

Perempuan Berkisah berbeda banget dengan gaya jurnalisme patriarki, dimana kisah yang sama kerap disajikan secara tidak adil, bahkan kejam pada perempuan korban kekerasan. Nama korban ditulis lengkap. Kadang muncul dalam judul. Sering pula disertai foto. Lengkap sudah identitas perempuan korban yang seharusnya dilindungi malah dibuka lebar-lebar. Tidak peduli beban moral dan sosial yang tidak hanya ditanggung oleh perempuan korban tetapi juga keluarga besarnya.

Bagaimana dengan laki-laki sebagai pelaku? Sangat kontras! Kadang disebut nama tapi inisial. Foto? Hampir sulit dilacak. Dampaknya? Namanya tetap harum semerbak sehingga tidak ada beban moral sedikitpun untuk ikut menyalahkan korban-korban kekerasan serupa lainnya.

Spiritualitas Perempuan

Pada bulan Ramadhan 2020, Perempuan Berkisah mengundangku untuk ngaji bersama tentang spiritualitas perempuan. Tema ini memicuku untuk melakukan refleksi lagi. Seperti biasa kumulai segala hal dengan titik berangkat sebagai manusia, yaitu laki-laki dan perempuan adalah sama-sama hanya hamba Allah yang mengemban amanah melekat untuk mewujudkan kemaslahatan seluas-luasnya di muka bumi.

Nilai manusia, baik laki-laki maupun perempuan bener-bener hanya ditentukan oleh 1 hal tok til, yaitu taqwa atau sejauhmana tauhid yakni imannya kepada Allah sebagai satu-satu Dzat kepada siapa manusia hanya boleh menghamba ini melahirkan kemaslahatan atau sikap baik (amal shaleh) pada sesama makhluk-Nya di muka bumi, baik di luar maupun di dalam rumah.

Dengan titik berangkat seperti itu, laki-laki dan perempuan sama-sama menjadi makhluk spiritual di samping makhluk fisik. Bahkan dimensi spiritual manusia lebih sejati daripada dimensi fisiknya sebab saat mati fisik akan hancur. Nilai manusia selama menjadi makhluk fisik adalah tergantung sejauhmana mendayagunakan semua modal sosialnya, baik berupa tubuh, harta, jabatan, ilmu pengetahuan, keterampilan, keahlian, dll untuk kemaslahatan sebagaimana mandat hidupnya.

Semua hal-hal yang bersifat fisik, duniawi, dan materiil dengan demikian bisa bernilai spiritual sepanjang menjadi media kemaslahatan. Sebaliknya hal-hal yang bersifat spiritual seperti ibadah-ibadah mahdlah, ilmu keislaman, otoritas keagamaan, juga bisa kehilangan nilai spiritualitasnya jika disalahgunakan untuk keburukan apalagi membahayakan sesama makhluk Allah.

Jadi spiritualitas perempuan dan laki-laki sama-sama ditentukan oleh sejauhmana imannya kepada Allah bisa membuat dirinya menjadi anugerah bagi diri sendiri sekaligus pihak lain seluas-luasnya menurut kemampuan yang dimilikinya. Sebaik-baik manusia adalah yang paling mampu memroses semua potensi baik dalam dirinya berkembang maksimal sehingga bisa maksimal pula bermanfaat dalam kehidupan sesama makhluk Allah di muka bumi. “Aku manfaat, maka aku ada!”

Sepertinya ke depan, jati diri manusia, baik laki-laki maupun perempuan, ini akan terus menjadi titik tolakku dalam membahas apapun dalam perspektif Islam. Jadi bukan sekedar status hukumnya seperti halal, haram, makruh, sunnah, dan mubah tapi tidak kalah pentingnya juga adalah bagaimana laki-laki dan perempuan sebagai subyek penuh sistem kehidupan bisa sama-sama mengupayakan kemaslahatan dalam topik terkait, dan bagaimana pula keduanya bisa menjadi penerima manfaat.

Kerja Perempuan Berkisah (PB) dan Ngaji Keadilan Gender dalam Islam (KGI)

Kerja-kerja Perempuan Berkisah ini menarik. Selama proses mendampingi perempuan-perempuan korban kekerasan dalam berbagai bentuknya ada tahap yang sangat menarik. PB atas izin perempuan pemilik pengalaman kemudian merumuskan pelajaran penting sebuah kasus, lalu menarasikannya dengan gaya komunikasi ala millenials, dan membagikannya melalui beberapa platform medsos.

Ini langkah yang sangat strategis untuk menceritakan pengalaman khas perempuan, khususnya perempuan korban kekerasan hanya karena menjadi perempuan. Dalam lensa Keadilan Hakiki Perempuan yang menjadi topik intik Ngaji KGI, proses mengisahkan pengalaman khas perempuan ke publik ini dipandang sebagai keniscayaan jika ingin mewujudkan keadilan hakiki bagi perempuan, khususnya perempuan korban kekerasan.

Mengapa?

Pengalaman khas perempuan, baik secara biologis maupun sosial itu tidak dialami oleh laki-laki. Menstruasi, hamil, melahirkan, nifas, dan menyusui itu bisa diiringi rasa sakit (adza), bahkan sakit berlipat-lipat (wahnan ala wahnin) dari sononya. Apalagi jika pengalaman tersebut terjadi dalam kondisi sosial di mana perempuan sekaligus mengalami salah satu apalagi lebih dari lima pengalaman sosial khasnya, yaitu stigmatisasi, marjinalisasi, subordinasi, kekerasan, dan beban ganda hanya sebagai perempuan. Wong mengalaminya dalam kondisi biologis dan sosial prima saja sudah bisa sakit dan sakit berlipat, apalagi dalam kondisi tidak prima atau bahkan drop karena fisik mental sosial dilecehkan. Misalnya hamil, melahirkan, nifas, dan menyusui dalam kondisi ditelantarkan oleh suami, atau bahkan karena perkosaan!!

Sayangnya karena laki-laki tidak mengalami semuanya, maka ada kecenderungan besar tidak mengetahui atau tidak mau tahu. Karena tidak tahu, maka kecenderungan besarnya adalah menganggap tidak ada. Karena dianggap tidak ada, maka tentu saja tidak dijadikan pertimbangan dalam merumuskan kearifan sosial dalam bermasyarakat, kebijakan negara dalam berbangsa, dan kemaslahatan dalam beragama. Sementara itu, ruang-ruang pengambilan keputusan penting di masyarakat, negara, dan agama masih didominasi oleh laki-laki!

Bagaimana membuat pengalaman biologis dan sosial khas perempuan ini bisa dipertimbangkan di ruang-ruang strategis tersebut? Bagaimana supaya rumusan keadilan di berbagai sendi kehidupan ini bisa menjangkau perempuan dengan segala pengalaman khasnya? Ya dengan menceritakannya!!! 

Hanya dengan cara ini pengalaman khas perempuan yang mengandung adza dan wahnan ala wahnin ini bisa jadi pengetahuan bersama lalu dipertimbangkan dalam perumusan keadilan publik, baik di keluarga, masyarakat, negara, maupun agama. Jadi, jika laki-laki tidak tahu karena tidak mengalami lalu menganggapnya tidak ada lalu tidak mempertimbangkannya di ruang-ruang pengambilan keputusan yang masih mereka dominasi, maka hal ini wajar dan bisa dimengerti. Namun kalau sudah diberi tahu lalu tidak mau tahu dan tetap tidak mempertimbangkan dalam perumusan kearifan sosial, kebijakan negara, dan kemaslahatan agama, maka ini tidak bisa lagi dipandang wajar tapi kurang (w)ajar!

Atas dasar kebutuhan di atas, maka menceritakan pengalaman perempuan, baik secara biologis maupun sosial sudah waktunya untuk tidak lagi dianggap tabu sebab hanya dengan cara menceritakan ini, pengalaman khas perempuan bisa jadi pengetahuan bersama yang sangat penting. Jika menceritakan kekerasan dipandang sebagai sebuah tabu, bukankah melakukannya jauh lebih tabu? Mana yang mendesak untuk dihapuskan? Tentu perlu cara-cara yang elegan untuk menceritakan pengalaman khas perempuan, baik secara biologis maupun sosial, apalagi saat masih banyak yang menganggapnya tabu dan Perempuan Berkisah sudah memberikan contohnya.

Terimakasih ya mbak Alimah Fauzan dan teman-teman Perempuan Berkisah. Semoga bisa juga menceritakan pengalaman-pengalaman biologis khas perempuan, juga dampak langsung pengalaman sosial ketidakadilan gender pada sistem reproduksi perempuan yang mengalaminya. Meski banyak yang belum menyadari hubungan erat antara gangguan yang bersifat psikhis pada kualitas kesehatan fisik setiap orang. Termasuk perempuan. Apalagi perempuan korban kekerasan. Apalagi kekerasan berbasis gender ini seringkali komplit: fisik, seksual, psikhis, sosial, dll.

Semoga terus tangguh dalam ikhtiyar melakukan proses transformasi sosial melalui kerja-kerja kongkrit selama ini dan bisa terus menebar manfaat selagi sempat. Aamiin yra.

Pamulang, 29 Agustus 2020

Salam KGI,

Nur Rofiah

Dosen Pascasarjana Perguruan Tinggi Ilmu Al-Qur’an (Institut PTIQ) Jakarta. Beliau juga aktif menulis di bincangsyariah.com dan Founder Ngaji Keadilan Gender dalam Islam (KGI).

author

Dr Nur Rofiah Bil Uzm

Dosen Pascasarjana Perguruan Tinggi Ilmu Al-Qur’an (Institut PTIQ) Jakarta. Beliau juga aktif menulis di bincangsyariah.com dan Founder Ngaji Keadilan Gender dalam Islam (KGI).

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